8
Jun
2008
Anyone got any bug spray?
There’s nothing strange about hearing rain drops hit an exterior of your car while you are driving. What was strange on my way back to Toronto late last night was that there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky and the drops were sticking to my wind shield.
The following were taken off of my front bumper earlier this morning:
A nasty feeling comes over me when I see these images. Couldn’t believed that this madness is possible. God help those who are planning to do camping this year!
27
Sep
2007
Before Jack, before Chuck, and before time there was SAP.
The top 40 sap facts:
40) SAP is so efficient in creating software, there is actually only one developer writing code, all others are architects and managers.
39) What Yoda really meant to say about the force: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to ABAP.
38) The song “Killing me softly” was originally written by a SAP customer
37) The matrix runs SAP
36) When SAP NetWeaver was released, there was a disturbance in the Force
35) SAP is so secure that condoms are made from it
34) SAP can divide by zero.
33) By reading the source code of transaction SE38 you will temporarily be granted invisibility [SE38 starts up the editor]
32) SAP made Bill Gates retire. When asked why, SAP answered “Because we can”
31) SAP: It’s not just a job; it’s a wardrobe.
30) SAP stand for SLOW AND PAINFUL
29) Chuck Norris uses SAP to keep track of his death count
28) Not 42, but SAP is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
27) Oracle still hides the fact that FUSION stands for: Finally use SAP in our network
26) The European Union has decided that by 2008, ABAP will be the only offical language used in parliament
25) If you post a question in the SDN ABAP forum, Rich Heilman already has the answer typed in and is just waiting for you to
press the “Post Message” button.
24) SAP only made its software so complicated because this way they were able to lay the foundation for the vast SDN community that would soon replace all SAP developers. As SDN points are easier to give away than monetary salary, the company’s increase in profitability is expected to crush all existing stock software, making place for SAP to installed in there, which would increase sales again … all in order with the SDN program (SAP Dies Never).
23) GOD runs SAP
22) It’s a little known fact that if you are on SAP’s network you will never get a “server not responding” or 404 page not found error… nobody is too busy to not talk to SAP.
21) His Holyness Pope Benedict XVI is an SAP certified ABAP programmer
20) The Klingon Empire runs SAP
19) SAP NetWeaver doesn’t adhere to the J2EE specification, the J2EE specification adheres to the SAP NetWeaver specification
18) All SAP consultants have a black belt in Karate
17) SAP invented the internet
16) SAP stands for Suffer After Purchase
15) The strongest and unbreakable argument in any architectural discussion is: “It was done this way in ABAP”
14) SAP stands for Start Applying Patches
13) Your SAP is not connected to the internet. The internet is connected to your SAP.
12) The real reason behind Pluto’s recent demotion from planet status: incomplete plant configuration in NASA’s SAP system.
11) It is rumored that Michael Corleone, “The godfather” used to work as a consultant in SAP.
10) The ultimate survival strategy if we ever find intelligent life in the galaxy is to SAP them right away …
9) Spiderman is powered by NetWeaver.
8) Julius Ceaser, Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan ran SAP. Their successors didn’t.
7) Sony Advanced Playstation
6) SAP next releases will come with a lifetime supply of Prozac
5) asap is actually an abbreviation for “in A SAP way”
4) Leonardo da Vinci was SAP Certified!!!
3) Whenever a new bug is found in SAP someone gets a hickup.
2) Every kid had his/her heroes…Boys had Superman, Girls had Lara Croft…And young Abapers…they had Rich Heilman.
1) On the first day God created SAP
…… That’s all folks ……
11
Oct
2006
Green Jackets
Between tests, assignments and that yearly honor roll award ceremony I hardly notice high school anymore. I am a loner, people know me; I am that chubby kid. I tend to distance my self from them; I don’t make an effort to socialize. I try to blend in.
I like to stay late at school, I really enjoy working with computers. Mr. Mooney is my programming teacher. He’s a Scotsman in his thirties. He has a clean black goatee, he wears slick glasses; we like to call him Millhouse sometimes. I enjoy talking to him; he has a great sense of humor.
It’s Wednesday afternoon and I need to get home before it gets dark. I pack my books and turn off the computer. “See you tomorrow Mr. Mooney” and I run out of the computer lab. It’s a two km walk to my house. I don’t like to take the bus, it’s not cheap, and having extra change in my pocket is a priority. The streets are almost empty, most students are long home enjoying the usual six o’clock television show.
Ahead of me I see two teenagers, they are wearing similar green jackets, and black pants. They must be from my school. As I gain closer I recognize one of them. It’s Darien, his un-tucked shirt and lowered pants make him look like a gangster.
I continue with the same pace and pass them right as we enter the residential area. I don’t acknowledge them; last thing I want is to draw attention. Continuing my pace I gain some distance and some comfort. Suddenly,
“Hay, you have any cash?”
Just keep walking you don’t need to answer,
“Hay you, do you have any money?” I hear the voice again this time angrier.
I briefly turn and see Darien staring at me. He has that smirk on his face, I feel like a kitten that will be drowned soon.
“I don’t have anything.” I turn and continue walking.
“Come on I just need a toonie” this time the voice is much closer, they are right behind me.
I don’t like this, I am not particularly brave but I will not let him push me around. I look Darien straight in the eye and don’t say anything.
They back off for a second, I continue heading forward. I hear some murmuring. Suddenly a strong thrust lunges in to my back. I fall forward but manage to maintain my balance. I turn around and get my guard up. Darien’s partner tries to kick me again, he misses and I grab him by his neck, squeezing it between my biceps. I know I have him, my grip is tight there is no where to go. Darien jumps on my back and places four direct hits to my neck. I loose my balance and fall on the ground.
The concrete is wet. Two sharp kicks hit my back. A car passes by, a woman looks at me; I hope she stops. She keeps driving; I lift my self off the ground. Two more kicks this time hitting my ass. I stumble in the nearby store, they stop; I’m saved.
I catch my breath and try to stay in control, my hands are shaking. I spend the next half an hour moving from store to store hiding from them. There is only about a kilometer left to my house, and it seems that Darien is no where in sight. I take a deep breath and leave the secure walls of the shopping mall.
I walk quickly; about ¾ further I notice two figures far behind me. It’s them, I know they see me, I turn and run; I am so close. I quickly glance behind, they are chasing me. I run behind a random building, they don’t follow; I lost them.
Taking side alleys trying to avoid major open areas I make my way home. I’m safe I made it.
5
Oct
2006
14
Jun
2006
Regular weekend [or was it?]
Boy do I feel like I wrote a similar entry before. I guess it is not the first time when I had a jam packed weekend to talk about.
Let’s start at the beginning. It was Friday afternoon and I left work without my laptop. Reason being was because the IT department was given an order to relocate the development subdivision to a new domain. In other words, change absolutely everything in order to improve our way of life [Make our life a living hell]. In my typical state of euphoria I consecrated on the positive. Leaving the laptop at work ensured that I would have a programming free weekend. That alone was enough to put a smile on my face.
So there I was leaving my troubles behind embarking in to the new adventure.
First thing’s first. For a while now I wanted to improve my means of transportation. By that I mean I wanted to get a new bike. And by new I mean something top of the line. More specifically I wanted to get a new road bike, nothing as crazy as Neel Armstrong but something in the same area. Haven already checked out a local pro-bike shop I was eager to see other bikes and hopefully cheaper prices [the goal was to visit another hipped-up bike outlet]. Heading through the downtown area I managed to stop by one of the largest shopping malls in the province. Due to its popularity it was recognized as a national Tourist attraction [allowing me to take pictures at free will – you can check out my gallery for some of the shots that I managed to get over the weekend].
The bike shop although quite expensive proved to be quite useful. I got the chance to narrow down my ideal bike. The salesman suggested taking my measurements, and with a weird in-scene apparatus I discovered [somewhat awkwardly] that I was build for a 56 frame.
Maybe it was because of the outrageous prices but while walking back to the bus station I could not help but shiver from the chilling wind that was blowing through the streets in the opposite direction. Taking shelter at the local star-bucks I treated my self to a delightfully warm Apple-sider… mmm mmm mmm was that stuff refreshing. By the time I got home it was really late and without wasting any time I headed straight to bed.
After eleven hours of sleep, that’s right boys and girls ELEVEN hours of sleep I was refreshed and rejuvenated to take charge of another beautiful day. The weather outside was still quite chilly but despite that I decided to hit the bike shops yet again. Visiting Ciclepath I got the chance to test ride one of the bikes. Besides the fact that it was the smoothest ride I ever experienced I was really impressed by the intricate breaking system. These breaks resemble something that you would find in a standard automobile.
Following that I meat with my gang and we found our selves at a basketball court. We quickly split up in to two groups and began the game. As usual there were some injuries involved; my share included getting nailed in the face a few times and scraping my hands on the rusty pavement [luckily nothing serious]. Overall it was a very enjoyable activity; I would have to say that I definitely need to work on my dribbling skills having found difficult getting-by multiple defenders.
The evening finished off with one of those intellectually challenged discussions. Abortion, politics, stem-sell research were a few of the controversial topics floating around the tables. Although clearly out of my place I enjoyed listening to my fellow intellects, and once in a while jotting down programming related ideas. Yet again we finished quite late and I found my self heading straight to bed upon arriving at home.
After another ten and a half hours of sleep I was ready for more action. Yet again in search of a perfect bike deal [I still yet to own a new road bike]; I rushed to the lakeshore area to check another sports store. While in the area I noticed a dragon-boat-racing event that was taking place. Having my trusty Nikon I parked the car and found a spot right in front of the action. I believe these races were only to qualify for a big regatta that is scheduled to take place on June 24th, which as you would imagine I am intending to attend. I noticed that in these races you really had to watch for the teams who were giving it all, unfortunately there were those who seemed like they were trying to win a face squelching competition rather then the actual race. After watching four consecutive rushes and taking some beautiful shots, I packed my stuff and headed to my university gym where I enjoyed an exhilarating upper body workout.
Closer to the evening I visited a golf driving range to test out my new driver [which seems to work much better then my old one – I was managing to hit 250-300 yard drives]. I played a GREAT round of ping-pong with a good friend who required some of my secret Russian medicine, after having his finger bruised up in a game of basketball. And I finished off the day by cooking up one of my weekday feasts composed of ground-beef balls with pasta.
The 10+ sleeping sessions ended and I returned to my typical working routines. I am looking forward to the next weekend. We are planning to have a BBQ, watch another regatta and visit Wonderland. And to top it all off the weather is promising to be quite delicious.
Anyways that’s all for now, I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend as much as I have.
5
Jun
2006
Here comes the rant!
Why is it the case that when ever a male shows any interested in a girl it must be the case that all he wants is: as they say getting in her pants. I guess it’s not a big leap of faith to think that every male is a walking tank of hormones.
This weekend I attended a gathering at a pub downtown. Now let me point out that this is one of those things that happens very RARELY, I only attend these things on special occasions – usually when other people want to go [never have I suggested to go to a pub to have a good time]. But what ever we are going and I wasn’t going to be sulking all night.
Now another complication was that there were multiple different groups that participated in this gathering [hence the pub]. Plus joining my group of intellects was a new girl.
When we met up with the new girl [prior to attending the pub]; it was evident that she was going through stressful time and came out to escape the daily hustles.
As a result I started getting a little worried. This girl doesn’t really know any one and we aren’t the types to start gallivanting around in pub related settings.
Alright, we have a nice dinner, and eventually make our way to the pub. Now by WE I mean, the new girl, my self, and another person who was mainly interested in watching a current basketball game. Now keep in mind that we were the first to arrive at the pub and we had to endure a long walk prior to getting there. Personally I don’t mind but the girl had hills so you can imagine that she wasn’t looking forward to participating in long walks.
Anyways we get to the place, and it’s a mad house. It’s packed, people are running around, the music is loud and it’s just chaos. After wandering around for about forty minutes we finally meet up with the remainder of the pack. We grab a seat, some attempts are made to introduce the new girl to people I know but in general there isn’t much response. So I invite the new girl to have a drink with me, she accepts and I begin my show. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I am the man you want to see when you need to turn your frown upside down.
All that I had that day been a single glass of beer, something that didn’t even make a dent in my mental abilities [especially after having a big dinner]. But what it gave me was the excuse to act extra goofy. That’s right; the image of an alcoholic drink is more of a psychological apparatus that gives me extra leverage to act the part of a PATIONATE goofball.
Anyways the night progressed very nicely, I was being spontaneous bringing up anything and everything that I saw or came in to my mind. I think by the end of the night the new girl felt much better, she seemed more relaxed and easy going. I was very happy about that.
All that is good but here comes the part that really ticks me off. Apparently the other groups, who were observing me from a distance got the feeling that I was drunk and was coming on to every visible female. On our way back to the car I was encouraged on numerous occasions [when I clearly explained that I was simply trying to make sure, people are having a good time] to ask people out on follow up dates. I mean why is it so hard to believe that I am just trying to put a smile on people’s faces? And this comes from those who supposedly know me… pffff… what ever… for some reason this just vexes me the wrong way.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the insecurity of my self or others. But sometimes certain individuals really disappoint me.
Anyways, now the weekend is over I am ready to start up again. Looking forward to some great sunny weather and new adventures ahead.
4
May
2006
Caught Sleeping at work?
Here are a few ideas that will get you out of trouble:
“It’s okay… I’m still billing the client.”
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.”
“I was working smarter, not harder.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
“I’m in the management training program.”
“Actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.”
“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!”
“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
“The coffee machine is broke…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”
“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
“It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”
“I was cross-training for telecommuting.”
“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
“Wasn’t sleeping. Was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.”
“The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.”
“I thought you [boss] were gone for the day.”
2
May
2006
New Hardware DSLR
The dawn of the new era has come to pass, that’s right ladies and gentlemen my expanding collection of gadgets has gotten a brand new member.
I can tell you right now that even thinking about it makes me jitter from excitement. Alright, alright ill get to the point, it is a DSLR camera.
Here are some specs:
Camera: Nikon D70
Effective Pixels: 6.0 millions
Max Resolution: 3008 X 2000
Max Shutter: 1/8000 sec
Weight: 670g
For more information check out this site, it’s a great source of all kinds of interesting facts about digital cameras.
[http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/specs/Nikon/nikon_d70.asp]
Along with the camera I also got two lenses:
28-80mm, 58mm Tamron lens
70-300mm, 62mm Tamron lens
This camera is something that I wanted to get for quite a while now, about a year ago I considered it but thought that it would be too expensive and decided to go with a cheaper substitute Fuji Finepix 510. That was a very good camera, and I am still planning to use it when ever I don’t have Nikon with me. It’s small size make it a perfect candidate for transpiration, actually, even now I have it sitting in the right pocket of my jacket. It is always with me.
Any who lets get back to Nikon. First of all I would like to point out that I’ve ordered camera and the memory card in two different places and they happened to arrive at my place in exactly the same time. As a result I started playing with it as soon as it was out of the box.
Nikon D70 has a standard array of controls, figuring things out is not a challenge either; I was able to get my way around in matter of minutes.
While examining picture taking capabilities I quickly noted something that I wasn’t very found off: flash turned out to be an automatic tool. I was hoping it would be one of those manual functions. I guess I just have to turn it off by tinkering with the settings.
I still yet to try this camera in the wilderness, but from pictures that I’ve taken in my room the results are spectacular. The noise/clarity levels are outstanding; it is silly to even compare them to regular cameras. The same can be said about zoom capabilities that I achieve from the 300mm lens. One of the best things that makes SLR such a desirable item is the capability of taking multiple continues shots. I am sure everyone hates the loading time present in regular cameras. In simpler terms we can compare regular camera to an SLR as a public bus to a F1 racer.
There are a ton of other things that I still have to try out. Keep a look out for new pictures in the gallery section.
28
Apr
2006
Setting a good example
I am the modern definition of what future generations will hate.
While chatting with my boss the other day he casually asked me how long it takes me to get to work. I calmly answered that it’s approximately two hours each way. In attempts to reduce the amount of pity generated by those who hear of such ridiculous numbers I tend to comment that I enjoy working/reading/sleeping while on the subway and by now I am very much used to the routine. My boss kind of smirked and said “I have a son who is about year younger then you.”
Right there and then everything made since. I the person who put up a hell of a fight in order to get a car for work commute has became the very person who will inflict similar faith upon the younger generation. I guess it doesn’t really help that I enjoy taking the bus far more then driving.
My boss went on telling me that I am his only example of someone who is under 23 years of age and finds it bearable to commute this much on public transpiration. I guess this is a typical parental mechanism, to find some other kid [or make one up for that matter], who exhibits the desired behavior; clearly if your example can do it then your offspring can to as well.
My condolences go off to the kid who is not going to get a car from his daddy. Pffff yea right, be a man buy your own car or take the public transportation and enjoy!!!!!! If I can do it so can any one else!
PS: Could there be way to market this talent of mine, being a legitimate example of “proper” cost efficient behavior. Just think how many parents out there are nagged about a car or a toy… I could make millions. J/K there are tons of people who have it way worse then me, I just live in a society who can’t imagine commuting to work for longer then 45 minutes.
8
Mar
2006
International Women’s Day [2006]
When did it all begin? When did we start naming days in honor of people, things and events? I am sure the tradition can be dated back to the prehistoric times.
There are probably a few of you who don’t know but today is an International Female Day. Don’t be disappointed if you were not aware of this, even the big dogs didn’t acknowledge today’s significance. My typical home page lacked a certain cartoonist flare, those six familiar letters flashed in their usual multi colored display. I mean for a company that changed their logo every day during recent winter Olympics they sure could have put up a bigger effort. So let’s ignore this silly fact and turn our attention to my attempts of turning free time in to something more meaningful.
As I am sure many of you know I tend to jump the artistic gun before the whistle blows. So here we go:
Here I am in search of words,
Hunting for notes to play my chords.
I close by eyes, begin to ponder
The image seen is such a wander.
I grab my pen, dip it in ink
The poem is done, in one short blink.
Well if you don’t know the definition of wishful thinking then here it is. Struggling to match the perfect mix between meaning and rhyming sentences sure turned out to be a challenge. I guess when I stopped to think about it, I just wanted to get across that my female friends are very precious to me. And I just want to thank you all for putting up with my occasional outburst of eager enthusiasm, to humor me with your attention when I start talking about God knows what and most importantly for your gracious smiles. Thy smile makes my world go round!
Women have strengths that amaze …
They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens,
yet they hold faith, happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They volunteer for good causes.
They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut ins.
They are senators, educators, childcare workers, executives, attorneys,
truck drivers, pilots, stay at home moms and your neighbors.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up against injustice.
They write to the “powers that be” for things that make for a better life.
They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They can wipe a tear, cover a cut and pat you on the back at the same time.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They tell people that need to be told to straighten up their act.
They lend a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen
and a voice to make suggestions.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They can round up energy, even when they are tired.
They can stay up a little longer to talk to someone that needs a friend.
Women do more than give birth. They bring peace and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
They weep with joy when their children excel,
and cheer when loved ones get awards.
Women want people to grow into the best person they can be.
They want to touch you in a way that
will make you share your goodness with others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair
… true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes because
that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
PS: the only sad thing is that there are probably only three people that actually read my blog site non of which are girls. Hence any of you guys who think I’ve gone soft, simply have to call a place and a time. And I will see you there!
