4
May
2006
Caught Sleeping at work?
Here are a few ideas that will get you out of trouble:
“It’s okay… I’m still billing the client.”
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.”
“I was working smarter, not harder.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
“I’m in the management training program.”
“Actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.”
“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!”
“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
“The coffee machine is broke…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”
“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
“It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”
“I was cross-training for telecommuting.”
“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
“Wasn’t sleeping. Was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.”
“The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.”
“I thought you [boss] were gone for the day.”
