27
Sep
2007
Before Jack, before Chuck, and before time there was SAP.
The top 40 sap facts:
40) SAP is so efficient in creating software, there is actually only one developer writing code, all others are architects and managers.
39) What Yoda really meant to say about the force: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to ABAP.
38) The song “Killing me softly” was originally written by a SAP customer
37) The matrix runs SAP
36) When SAP NetWeaver was released, there was a disturbance in the Force
35) SAP is so secure that condoms are made from it
34) SAP can divide by zero.
33) By reading the source code of transaction SE38 you will temporarily be granted invisibility [SE38 starts up the editor]
32) SAP made Bill Gates retire. When asked why, SAP answered “Because we can”
31) SAP: It’s not just a job; it’s a wardrobe.
30) SAP stand for SLOW AND PAINFUL
29) Chuck Norris uses SAP to keep track of his death count
28) Not 42, but SAP is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
27) Oracle still hides the fact that FUSION stands for: Finally use SAP in our network
26) The European Union has decided that by 2008, ABAP will be the only offical language used in parliament
25) If you post a question in the SDN ABAP forum, Rich Heilman already has the answer typed in and is just waiting for you to
press the “Post Message” button.
24) SAP only made its software so complicated because this way they were able to lay the foundation for the vast SDN community that would soon replace all SAP developers. As SDN points are easier to give away than monetary salary, the company’s increase in profitability is expected to crush all existing stock software, making place for SAP to installed in there, which would increase sales again … all in order with the SDN program (SAP Dies Never).
23) GOD runs SAP
22) It’s a little known fact that if you are on SAP’s network you will never get a “server not responding” or 404 page not found error… nobody is too busy to not talk to SAP.
21) His Holyness Pope Benedict XVI is an SAP certified ABAP programmer
20) The Klingon Empire runs SAP
19) SAP NetWeaver doesn’t adhere to the J2EE specification, the J2EE specification adheres to the SAP NetWeaver specification
18) All SAP consultants have a black belt in Karate
17) SAP invented the internet
16) SAP stands for Suffer After Purchase
15) The strongest and unbreakable argument in any architectural discussion is: “It was done this way in ABAP”
14) SAP stands for Start Applying Patches
13) Your SAP is not connected to the internet. The internet is connected to your SAP.
12) The real reason behind Pluto’s recent demotion from planet status: incomplete plant configuration in NASA’s SAP system.
11) It is rumored that Michael Corleone, “The godfather” used to work as a consultant in SAP.
10) The ultimate survival strategy if we ever find intelligent life in the galaxy is to SAP them right away …
9) Spiderman is powered by NetWeaver.
8) Julius Ceaser, Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan ran SAP. Their successors didn’t.
7) Sony Advanced Playstation
6) SAP next releases will come with a lifetime supply of Prozac
5) asap is actually an abbreviation for “in A SAP way”
4) Leonardo da Vinci was SAP Certified!!!
3) Whenever a new bug is found in SAP someone gets a hickup.
2) Every kid had his/her heroes…Boys had Superman, Girls had Lara Croft…And young Abapers…they had Rich Heilman.
1) On the first day God created SAP
…… That’s all folks ……
4
May
2006
Caught Sleeping at work?
Here are a few ideas that will get you out of trouble:
“It’s okay… I’m still billing the client.”
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.”
“I was working smarter, not harder.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
“I’m in the management training program.”
“Actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.”
“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!”
“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
“The coffee machine is broke…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”
“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
“It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”
“I was cross-training for telecommuting.”
“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
“Wasn’t sleeping. Was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.”
“The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.”
“I thought you [boss] were gone for the day.”
